Wednesday, December 14, 2011

that time of the year . . . Christmas? Nope. I got my foster care re-licence paperwork in the mail.

It sounds silly, but I am having a hard time with not re-licensing my foster care licence.  I have 9 kids.  I am done.  I am happy with being done.  But when you do something for so long, it is hard to know how not to do it.  10 years is a long time.  My identity is a mom/foster mom.  I can't tell you how wonderful it is to not have all the extra appointments, visits with bio family and case workers.  Not to mention how nice it is to not have tons and tons of people looking over your shoulder.  It is hard enough figuring out the after adoption part.  I spent 10 years with thoughts of reuniting kids.  Then to change my thoughts to forever, it is a bit hard.  It is hard for us to find our place.  I have their bio-families wanting to be back in the kids lives.  For some reason I still email with them.  I can't figure that one out.  I haven't emailed for some time, but I know they would like to hear from me more.  On the other hand, I want to tell them to jump off a cliff.  The kids are mine.  I write this as I cuddle the baby of the family,  well, the baby by 1 min.  He is having a hard time sleeping tonight.  He got his second flu shot. Thank heavens I got baby A back to sleep.  Cross your fingers for this baby. 

Anyways, I guess time will tell what I do with my life.  If you have any life changing ideas, drop me a line.                                                                                                   :)

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